The Mourning of Moony
by Stella Lupa
Summary: It is the 1st of November 1981 and Remus wakes up to a very different world.


The Mourning of Moony

It was the early morning of the 1st of November and Remus Lupin woke up abruptly to the sound of the door knocking.

Remus instinctively grabbed his wand from the dilapidated bedside table next to his bed. Remus's lived in a one floor flat above an abandoned shop in Diagon alley. Remus moved in after the shop owners had fled the country after the war broke out. It had taken him a long time to cast the charms to secure the flat against any unwanted company, yet somebody was at the door. Remus approached the door walking through the living room. He put his hand on the Doorknob and raised his wand to the door.

"Who's there?" Remus called.

"Albus Dumbledore; here to see Remus Lupin," replied a soft calm voice through the door. Remus sighed with relief and contemplated lowering in his wand when he remembered a poor muggle-born witch who was killed by a Death Eater using Polyjuice Potion. Remus kept his hand level.

"What did we do when you came to my house to give me my Hogwarts letter?" asked Remus.

"We played Gobstones, which was rather an agreeable game if I remember," said Dumbledore. Remus allowed himself to relax and opened the door to show the hooked nose, long white hair and the piercing blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore.

"Professor, come in," Remus greeted. Dumbledore stepped into the threshold and Remus went to the kitchen, fetching a bottle of Firewhiskey and two glasses before making his way back to the sitting room and put the glasses on the coffee table.

Remus then noticed the sombre expression in Dumbledore eyes. Remus had grown used to the look of bad news over the past year. Remus had worn that very expression when he had to tell people their loved ones had been killed. The wizarding world was at war and always in fear of another name to be added to the list of dead.

"What is it?" Remus said. Remus caught the split second grimace on Dumbledore's face before he returned to his customary dignified self. Something was wrong, really wrong.

"Sit down Remus," said Dumbledore and fixed his piercing eyes on Remus; making him reluctantly lower himself onto the armchair.

"Voldemort attacked Godric's Hollow last night; James and Lily didn't survive."

Dumbledore's words hit like the weight of a stone sank into Remus' stomach. His breath slowed and his mind went black. It seemed for one moment that the world froze around him. However, after that brief second, the world unfroze; which didn't make sense. It didn't make sense the clock on the fireplace kept on ticking. It didn't make sense for the world to keep spinning when Lily and James's potter were dead.

"Remus," Dumbledore called softly; shaking Remus out of his shocked state.

"That can't be - You said - The Fidelius Charm - You said it would keep them safe." Remus' voice was shaking. He tried to ignore his eye's watering and the tears starting to trickle down his face.

"The Fidelius Charm would have worked as it should have if James and Lily had placed their trust in someone more worthy."

"What do you mean?" asked Remus. Then the realisation of what Dumbledore was implying hit him.

"You mean Sirius-" Remus shook his head in disbelief, "You believe Sirius-" Remus couldn't finish the sentence but he saw Dumbledore nodding to verify his fear.

"It is now believed that Sirius was a spy for Lord Voldemort and that he told Voldemort where to find them," Dumbledore stated. "I'm sorry Remus. I should have insisted that James and Lily use me as Secret Keeper.

But Remus wasn't listening; He was replaying images of Sirius, James, and Lily together laughing, Sirius beaming when James had made him best man, Sirius making his best man speech smiling down at James, his best friend, and his new bride. Sirius wouldn't do this, Sirius wouldn't do this. Never, he would rather die.

"No, Sirius would never- James was like his brother -he adored Lily.-why would he?" Remus clung on to this. Sirius would never do this, James and Lily can't be dead.

"The house is in ruins, James and Lily's bodies have been recovered from the wreckage. Sirius seems to avoid the ministry's capture. Not something an innocent man is likely to do,"

It finally hit Remus what Dumbledore was telling him. The laughing faces of James and Lily continued replaying in his brain. Remus walked to the coat rack and put his coat on.

"I'm going to find him," Remus told Dumbledore as he made his way to the door.

"No, you're not, Remus." Dumbledore's voice started to rise, but Remus didn't care.

"YES, I AM!" Remus turned to Dumbledore staring him down.

"Remus is rational, you don't know where he is, who he's with. James and Lily wouldn't want you to put yourself in danger."

"I DON'T CARE!" shouted Remus. "HE KILLED HIM! JAMES TRUSTED HIM!" Remus couldn't bear to say his name. He felt hot the tears rolling down his face. Sirius had said that Remus, James, Lily and Peter were his only family. He had practically been made a part of James's family when he had been made godfather to Harry. Why would he…

Harry. A tiny glimmer of hope lit shone in the darkness of the evening.

"What about Harry?" Remus said suddenly, eagerly, almost begging. The world had to give him this; with all that had happened in his life, the world owed him this. "You said James and Lily were killed... What about Harry?"

Dumbledore was not fazed by the sudden change of topic. The faintest glimmer of a smile entered his face. "He survived, Remus. It is believed that a killing curse meant for Harry backfired on Lord Voldemort. It seems he's gone or perished."

"How? How could that happen?" Exclaimed Remus.

"I have a number of theories, each more improbable than the next one," Dumbledore held Remus' gaze. "The War is won Remus, they did not die for nothing." Remus broke eye contact with Dumbledore. He was not in a state to argue whether the victory of the war had been worth the price.

"Where is Harry now?" Remus asked.

"He is currently in the care of Madame Pomfrey at Hogwarts until we send him to his permanent home."

"I will look after him," Remus declared Dumbledore's pitying face said otherwise.

"Remus, you know that is impossible. The ministry will not allow a child to be raised by a werewolf who isn't his father." Remus looked down.

"So who is going to raise him?" he whispered softly.

"He's going to Lily's sister and her husband. They have a boy already called Dudley who is Harry's age…"

"Petunia?"Remus interrupted. Remus was about to argue about Dumbledore' judgment when there was another knock on the door. He looked at Dumbledore; both of them raised their wands and made their way to the door. Remus opened the doorway cautiously to reveal a young witch with short curly brown hair dressed in Auror's robes accompanied by a stern older man with salt and pepper hair.

"Professor Dumbledore, sir," He said stiffly nodding his head at Dumbledore in acknowledgement, I was informed you might be here."

"Auror Smith , what I can do for you two?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

"We aren't here for you professor. We are here to talk to Remus Lupin." He turned to face Remus, "You are Remus Lupin I assume."

"Yes, I am," said Remus. He tried to ignore how this Auror's look soured when he looked at Remus.

"I am here to question you in regards to the murder of Lily and James Potter and the whereabouts of Sirius Black" Remus sat down stunned at those questions. Did this man think-.

"You can ask me any questions you want, I know nothing," Remus stated.

"Would you allow the use of veritaserum?"

"This doesn't feel like a routine questioning Auror Merrick." Dumbledore interrupted staring down at the Auror over his half moon sunglasses.

"I am afraid with his connection to Black it would be remiss to not question him."

"You think I'm in league with Voldemort," Remus stated in a matter of fact tone looking at the Auror.

"We question anyone who is close to a suspect in this kind of case," the man said trying to not look Remus in the eye.

"Is Peter being questioned?" Remus asked. He saw the man becoming more and more uncomfortable with every question

"Mr Pettigrew? He hasn't been contacted yet," Auror Smith admitted.

"Why is that?" Remus asked raising himself from the seat.

"Remus," Dumbledore warned but Remus ignored him as he faced the man.

"Calm, down Sir." The man said taking a step back as Remus approached him confirming what Remus had suspected.

"This is to do my condition isn't it," Remus stated. He took a step back and proceeded to pace the room. He needed to move around.

"I am afraid it is the procedure to question any dark creature involved in this kind of case," The man stated.

"What because of they associate themselves with Voldemort?" Remus spat stopping to hold eye contact with the Auror. "Can you blame them if this is how Wizard's treat them?" Remus regretted saying it the moment the words had flown from his lips.

"Is that a confession!" Shouted Auror Smith ready to pounce on Remus's words.

"No, Auror Smith. Remus did not mean it like that." Dumbledore quickly interrupted placing himself between the two men. "Remus has just found out his friends are Dead. You can have my word officer that Remus had nothing to do with what happened to James and Lily."

"I am afraid Professor, I still have to insist on either Questioning under veritaserum or taking him to the ministry." Auror Smith said still looking slightly disgruntled from Remus's comments. Remus sat down and took a deep breath.

"Fine, I consent to be questioned under veritaserum." The Auror took out glass phial from his robes pocket a clear liquid swirled in the bottle.

"Open your mouth please." The Auror said. Remus obliged and opened his mouth and the man dropped three drops of the liquid into his mouth. "Now it will take a minute." the man said taking a step back from Remus.

The sensation started to come over Remus it was a numbness. He felt like he was floating. He was only slightly aware of the Auror and Smith then cleared his throat then continued,"Now Remus Lupin, Did you have any prior knowledge that Sirius Black was working with Voldemort."

"No, I didn't. I don't even think he could have done it. He and James were inseparable at Hogwarts I felt jealous of it sometimes." The words tumbled out of him."But then I would tell myself to be happy that they were even my friends."

"That's enough Mr Lupin. When was the last time you saw Mr Black?" The Auror said impatiently.

"A week ago. He came to me to have a drink. He had come back from Order business and said he needed to take his mind off things"

"Do you know where he might be?" The Auror interrupted.

"Have you checked his flat? Of course, you have. I don't know where else he would be. He usually is either at his house or mine or James's or maybe Peter."

"Thank you very much, Mr Lupin. You may now stay quiet until the effects of the potion wear off." The man said.

So they finally waited until Remus felt the effect of Veritaserum lift.

"It's done," Remus said.

"I apologise for having to put you through that Mr Lupin. You must understand I was doing my job." Auror Smith said.

"Yes, but all the same I would appreciate it you left," Remus stated he leant back on the chair. He was tired and needed to think.

"I will see you out." Dumbledore offered and he leadthe Auror over to the door.

Remus 's fireplace suddenly lit up and a young witch with short curly brown hair dressed in Auror's robes stepped out of the flames.

"Head office sent me Smith. We thought you ought to know. We got Black, sir." Remus didn't know how to react to that sentence or what to think of Sirius locked up in Azkaban.

"Where did you find Mr Black?" asked Smith.

"It wasn't the that found him. It was Mr Pettigrew." The witch corrected. The surprise of that statement almost knocked Remus over.

"What!" Remus exclaimed.

The witch looked at him startled wondering how much she could tell him.

"He has been questioned under Veritaserum. He can be trusted," Dumbledore stated.

She continued talking. "We don't have all the facts. But it seems that when Mr,Pettigrew found out what had happened and he decided to track Black down. Pettigrew confronted him and Black killed him and twelve passers-by's. The Auror's were alerted and within the next few minutes ministry wizards were on the scene. Truth be told, it was rather easy, with the state he was in."

Remus didn't know what to say, he sank down on a chair. Dumbledore could deal with the Auror. Remus just sat and grabbed the firewhisky that was on the table. As Sirius had always said to do when you were sad, "Drink till you can't think," he had said it to Remus the night the McKinnon's had died.

"What state he was in?" Dumbledore enquired and Remus' attention was brought back to the present.

"Well, he was laughing sir. Laughing like a maniac."

Remus just sat there blank and void. All he could do was drink and stare blankly at the picture he had on the fireplace of them all laughing last Christmas. Remus couldn't help but focus on the laughing face of Sirius and sound of his laugh echoing through his head.

Remus can't remember the Aurors going, he vaguely remembered Dumbledore putting a hand on his shoulder and making his own way out. Eventually, Remus finished the bottle. He went to get more and staggered into the kitchen.

Remus forgot it was there.

On the kitchen surface was his wrapped present for Sirius. Sirius' birthday was the day after next. They were all going to go to James' to celebrate. Sirius had probably known that was never going happen.

Remus raises his wand. "Confringo" he muttered.

The parcel shattered, leaving nothing but a fine black dust. Remus grabbed the bottle of firewhisky from the cupboard before stumbling back to the living room.


End file.
